Because I want to post again.

I'm sitting in a laundromat, waiting on both the dryer to dry and my husband to finish up tax free holiday purchasing (our house needs so much - I'll share that later), and to check out purchasing a second car, and it hit me in an overwhelming way that I want to blog again. Who knows, this could be the last again for six months. Or it could not. But I didn't want to put up another barrier of excuses, greatest of which is the need to tell the whole story from beginning. Where was the beginning anyway?

To catch you up: we bought a house. A townhouse to be exact, in the city but surrounded by trees. And cemeteries, but we can't see them do we just appreciate their quietness and hope the CDC is right about zombies.

It was a difficult, challenging experience I think made more difficult by all my own hang ups. I've had to deal with issues of security, money, privacy, and safety in oddly fundamental ways that have made me ill. I wouldn't confess that ever, anywhere. And it's been for the best.

I love my husband in a new way I am just becoming aware of. He is amazing. He also is driving me nuts in a brand new way, so it evens out.

Last night we attended the most touching wedding: 2 who have been together for years, a lifetime, and decided to tie the knot. Actually I think the need for health insurance and issues around growing older were also factors, but they held close to the romance. The ceremony showed how much they understood their love for each other, and how their friends and family glowed in this love, and knew it too, in a profound, true way. Joy, joy caused my heart to ache for this - I have the love, which I am so grateful for. I want the community.

So now I have some roots. I'm reaching them deep, and hope to find it nourishes me. Already I am feeling more whole, all my pieces are coming together and on a practical level, I am able to let go. Decluttering, purging, simplifying - those words don't match the experience of realizing that I don't need these representations. All I needed were roots: safety, security, home.

But today, I sit in a laundromat because the Universe is keeping me simple. I mentioned, our house needs many things, including a plumber to hook up our fancy brand new washer/dryer. I think I had to internalize and digest a lesson first.

As an aside, I'm using this post to practice blogging on my phone - I also took a picture to see how it works. That might help to keep posting.