Thursday, December 30, 2010

December 11 - 11 Things


December 11 – 11 Things 
What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?
  1. Overdoing.  Like of course, I had to make a complete list with little blurbs for everything.  But I can edit, I don't need to see every house on the market to know what I want and what fits, I don't have to read every book, or track down every piece of information on a topic, or do every last step or even identify every last thing that I shouldn't overdo...I can edit.
  2. Overthinking.  I paralyze myself and accomplish nothing by overthinking everything.  I can just get it done.
  3. Unrealistic Expectations, aka The Need for Things to Be Perfect.  Example, I don't need an art studio to make art.  I just need to make art.
  4. Putting Things Off.  Tasks seem too big or time feels too short, but I can break tasks down and do a bit here or there.  Plus, check out #5.
  5. Digital Media.  I watch too much TV and spend too much time on the internet.  I could read books and craft and clean and other wacky things like that.
  6. Grudges and unresolved conflict.  Yep.  That. 
  7. Sugar.  I've been off sugar for six months (eh, with little splurges) but I feel a million times better without it.
  8. Depression.  I am so done with depression.  Be gone!
  9. Debt.  Down with Sallie Mae!  Plus, we're paying off our car loan this year! 
  10. Fear.  Okay, some fear is good.  Like, being afraid of big game animals is probably a good idea.  But making decisions based on fear (or not making decisions) is not okay.  
  11. Piles.  I don't know if I'll ever get rid of the clutter, but maybe I can do something about the piles of crap I have everywhere.
Join Here:  Reflect on this year & manifest what's next
 

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

December 10 - Wisdom


December 10 – Wisdom. 
What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

The wisest decision I made this year was one that those who would have been most impacted by my decision knew nothing about, but it influenced everything about my relationships with those people.  If you've been reading, you may remember that I was offered another job making quite a bit more money, and I decided to turn that job down.  Just reading that makes me cringe.  Every once in awhile, I kick myself and feel stupid for making the decision.  I say that the drive was too far, the populations too diverse, the parking too sparse, the timing not right.  And this is all true, but jeez I make so little money.

The truth is, I didn't want to leave because I was smack in the middle of relationships with clients that I had spent years building.  I was seeing the fruits of my work - and I was also learning the failures of my efforts.  Both are necessary to learn.  I was also building relationships with people I work with, I was starting to set down roots, and all of this was making me afraid, and so I wanted to run.  Conversely, I was also very afraid of the new position.  I envisioned it like a mountain I was not ready to climb (and wow, it would have been a lot of driving).  In turn, it allowed me to see that my own mountain was slightly less daunting, albeit woefully underpaid.

Several times a week, I think, 'wow, I would have missed this moment with this person'.  I teared up at our holiday party, my heart squeezed when a teenage girl called me for support, when another emailed me because she knew I would be there, when a woman stumbled forward in telling her story.  This is the difficulty in my field:  people trust that we will be there.  I found myself thinking that this was a wise choice, to stay.  Still, I worry because I will need to leave soon.  I just hope that I will feel it is a wise choice then, as I know it will be a painful one. 

So I continue to grapple with the same question:  how do we get to both make a living wage and do what is fulfilling?  Often I think I am not so wise.  I often can't tell the difference:  what decisions do I make that are fear based or out of insecurity?  when am I too involved and need to step back?  I don't know.

ps.  I know I'm behind in posting these, but I'm working on it!

Join Here:  Reflect on this year & manifest what's next
 

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

December 8 - Beautifully Different / December 9 - Party


I'm posting these together because they are both terribly awkward to answer.

December 8 – Beautifully Different. 
Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

There is an expressive therapy activity where you collage magazine images, and then you speak from the collage, starting with "I am one who."  So I begin this with, I am one who finds the word beautiful uncomfortable.  I am one who doubts that I light people up.  But I am one who wants to be both, as I consider them the same. 

I feel that I am simple, plain, thoughtful, introspective.  Funny, athletic, encouraging, idealistic, creative and a lot of other words.  I have always seen myself as water, flowing around, slowly wearing away, changing things quietly.  I think big, very big, but feel squashed, stuck all the time because I have no place to put all those big ideas.  When I am excited, I gesture and dance around.  I think I am good at putting people at ease, I think people are comfortable around me.  I am patient.  I like to make eye contact and smile.  I like to help.  Yes, that's me, I like to help.  I try to be a tough ass, but I am not.  I run deep.

December 9 – Party 
Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

Oh geez, I am skipping this one. 

December 7 - Community


December 7 – Community
Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

For several years, finding community has been difficult for me.  I am a loner, a homebody, I do fine by myself.  I do fine with lots of people too.  But I didn't realize (or admit) that I needed people.  When we moved to Boston six years ago (wow, six years?), it was hard to be away from family, I had no job, no friends here, no direction, it was just me and my husband.  I didn't realize how much I needed community.  I went to school, I created small pockets of community here and there, but nothing lasting or fulfilling.  It involves a lot of putting yourself out there, which scares the crap out of me.  That's vulnerable land.  And so I've let this city be a lonely place.  Now, as we begin thinking about starting a family or when something as simple occurs as our car breaking down, I think again about how far away our support system is.  And so I admit, I am hungry for community.  

I realized something shocking this past year:  my job has become this for me.  I truly care about the people I work with.  When I was offered another job, the thought of leaving - despite the falling apart building, the low pay, the intense workload - made me feel like an untethered balloon.  I need this supportive, caring group right now.  I can be smart and efficient, I can also hurt and make mistakes.  

But its not enough.  I need a family base around me outside of this work family.  I need a community to make art with.  I need a supervision group that I can let my guard down with, who also use art in healing.  I want to keep building friendships.  I want to see my mom more.  Yes, I am hungry for community.  So this means that I have to keep letting myself be vulnerable and taking a lot of risks.  Yikes.  Maybe I'll keep practicing here. 

Saturday, December 11, 2010

December 6 - Make

December 6 – Make. 
What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

The ugly truth is the thing I am making now is not "art".  I am painting wooden ornaments with inexpensive acrylic paints.  The ornaments have circle openings for pictures, and I plan to put To/From labels inside that I made in Illustrator and attach the ornaments to presents as tags.  They cost maybe $.25/each on Black Friday, the best day for craft shopping ever.  I plan to wrap my presents in paper bags, and to make bows using magazines.  That's next.

The last serious making I did was at the Art Therapy Conference in November.  I created this small kit I can carry with me to Sacramento which includes a mechanical pencil and a thin sharpie (my current favorite art supply), a small watercolor set (I didn't spend this much for this, I used 50% coupons and got a smaller one), and watercolor crayons.  I use a sample container from the Body Shop for water.  I brought my altered book/sketch book, and during the opening sessions of the conference, I sat and created while I listened.  The conference had an open studio space, which I took advantage of one morning after a presentation.  And I created these:

























I've been trying to find a time to create between, during or after clients.  I try to schedule time after work.  I try to make time during the weekends.  Nothing works.  Space is incredibly limited, and there is always something else to do.  I have a sketchbook full of things I want to make, from the scrapbooks I plan to finish to the potholders I want to sew to the ATC and altered bookmaking I need creative play time for.  As I'm writing this, I'm beginning to realize that I need to sign up for classes or groups or studio space outside my home and work.  I'm also making the commitment to work on projects the week after Christmas.  I have to!

December 5 - Let Go



December 5
Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

Today I realized that over this past year, I have let go of a lot of shame.  I am less ashamed of who I am, how I look, where I come from and who I come from.  I'm beginning to view things from a more objective point of view, and am hopeful for the day I might be able to say the things I need to say to the person I need to say them to.  And maybe I'm finally letting go of that grudge, and all the hurt that accompanies it.

But right now, I need the guidance to NOT let go of a good friend who I also can't find the right words to express all the hurt I feel while honoring her own pain.    

Friday, December 10, 2010

December 3 – Moment / December 4 - Wonder


December 3
Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

The parking lot was littered with holes, tucked off a grassy gravel road that ran near our favorite beach, the one where we got engaged.  He maneuvered our car gingerly, body tight, anxious at the thought of a broken axle.  Warnings were plastered everywhere:  beware of thieves, leave no valuables.  We gathered our special bag and GPS, I pulled on an old pair of sneakers and rolled up my too-long jeans, hiding my purse at the far reaches of the trunk.  We shrugged at the signs, throwing worried glances at each other, and plunged into the path, finding ourselves surrounded by oceans of long, gracious grasses, gently rippling as if alive.


We echoed the breath of the vegetation, the sun reaching our bare heads and bathing everything golden.    The GPS guided us to our destination, hidden past upended trees, roots as large as our bodies frozen in their life state, forever vertical.  We watched as tides stole silently beneath the silent grasses, filling the marsh with salty, rushing lakes, a small murmur the only indication of the change.  The thrill of our wandering gathered itself in my belly and I began to bend and flow, like the ocean, the grasses, the trees above us, rustling slowly, lazily as the sun sunk low in the sky.  Soon we would be pressured to hurry, we had taken too much time and needed to get back to our defenseless car.  We had a long ride home.  Things to do.  Dinner to eat.

And in a surge, the energy in my belly exploded in a laughter that propelled my body forward and I began running along the trails, jumping like a deer over the tree roots and around corners.  I heard a whoop behind me, as my husband began running in step behind me.  We were laughing, salt tears falling from our eyes, our feet flying only slightly faster than our joyous bodies.  We were flying, soaring, gliding.

December 4:
Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

We went on adventures.  This is how I have so many photos for my blog.  This is how we kept our sanity.  We are hide and seekers.  We are finders.  We have a keen sense for where things are hidden, and a new obsession to find them.  We are puzzle solvers and number crunchers.  We are adventurers.  More to come on this later.

http://www.reverb10.com/the-prompts/

December 2 – Writing


December 2
Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

Frankly, its exciting to think about this question at all.  I want to be a writer, desperately.  I love it.  But I'm not one, and I've never gotten feedback that I am or should be.  So that's one:

1.  I don't believe I am a writer, and so stop myself from writing.  Because what does a non-writer need to be writing for, right?  So step one is just to write.  Perhaps I'll get really wacky and consider myself a writer:  what does it mean to be a writer?  what does a writer do, write?  I can do that.  I do that.
2.  I watch a lot of TV.  Like way too much TV.  We're going to be canceling or cutting back in the New Year.
3.  I don't have a daily writing practice - or, rather my daily practice is to write emails and posts to friends.  I think I can reallocate time.
4.  I don't have any ideas, or when I do, I forget them.  I used to use journaler to write down notes.  I could start posts here and just save them. 
5.  My job is an energy sucker, which is a shame, because one day this job is going to be a great source of writing material!

http://www.reverb10.com/the-prompts/

December 1 – One Word

I've been following the daily prompts given by this website.  The idea is to "reflect on this year and manifest the next."  Love it.  I'm a little behind, but wanted to do a couple for here.

December 1:
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

My word for 2010 is Running.  The idea of running has always been a metaphor for me, and purely a metaphor:  I was one who made dumb jokes like "I only run when I am being chased."   But for the many, many years I attended college, I often visualized my completion of school as running.  This image grew stronger as I moved to Boston and I would think about the billion things I had to balance and this image of running would come to mind.  I visualized myself at a steady pace, gradually passing my imaginary peers.


This image changed as I entered my new job.  I felt like I was constantly moving, going, taking in information, filling out paperwork, a non-stop machine.  Running morphed into a running from, a rat-race type of running.  I was like a balloon, just bouncing around when the wind blew.  And by 2010 I was exhausted.

And this is tough to admit, I tend to run away from personal issues.  I withdraw, I hide, I avoid.  This was a year where I had to start facing this desire to run and begin to think about setting down roots. I've had to start taking a painful look at myself.  I can't hide anymore. 

My anxiety started reaching fever pitch when a good friend mentioned that she went running.  It seemed so seamless and simple:  put on shoes, go outside, run a bit, listen to my iPod, take in some Vitamin D, combat my anxiety and depression.  And that weekend I went and bought shoes.  And started running.  I also stopped eating sugar.  I started sleeping again.  I was not depressed.  I began to lose weight.  My anxiety dipped lower and lower.  I began to take control of my life again. 

Morning after morning, I began to get my thinking in order.  I felt my body grow more confident and strong.  I learned how to set pace and to breathe.  Such simple skills I was desperately lacking.


Running has become so powerfully life changing for me, that as I am stuck inside because it is 11 degrees outside, my heart is pounding at the happiness of running.  I feel good while I am running.  I feel alive.  Running helped me begin an inner search, to grow more grounded and rooted.  It is no longer a running away or a running from, but an act of strength, balance, consistency and focus.  And so, I can't think of a better word to mark this year:  this is the year I started and stopped running.

And as for next year:  every time I try to think of a word, I think of the blue of the Florida Keys and of Maine, places we are scheduled to visit; of this unfindable house; of the fertility issues that I will have to face and seek treatment for; a deeper journey of the self; photography and writing and ideas.  I think of the word expansion.  But we'll see. 

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Jet Lag - Or, How I Hallucinated Napa Valley (11/3)

I set the alarm for 6:00 am CA time, forced my husband and I out of bed and into our running clothes.  My logic was that we could stay on east coast time, and that running would help with the jet lag.  Ha.  We jogged around the Capital building, ate some breakfast, and headed over to the conference center to register for the American Art Therapy Conference.   

Oooh, I hummed with anticipation as we checked out the rooms and began searching through my conference booklet.  So glad I did this.  More about that tomorrow.

























Today was all about Napa Valley.  


 Napa Valley is about a one and a half hour drive from Sacramento.  Sacramento is flat, flat, flat.  
But as you drive from the city, the view quickly changes into rolling mountains and sprawling farms.  
There was a glowing quality of light that made everything richly golden, like if you touched the air it would reverberate, sending concentric ripples across the sky.  The air smelled like earth, mature grapes and drying vines.  

I thrust my head out of the window and breathed in, catching a hint of smoke from a nearby fire and staring into the liquidity of a twilight that seemed to stretch on forever.  Time ceased to move.  My senses began to grow confused.  The air seemed tangible, as if you could scoop it up and pour it from your hands like sand.


We stopped in the town of Napa, where I wandered into a yarn store - like a real live only-sells-yarn yarn store.  The owner asked me if I was looking for something in particular, and I realized that I had my hands out in front of me to touch the yarn, my palms sensing the soft before they even made contact.  I had almost ceased seeing, having already taken in all the colors and commanding my brain to 'touch'.   All of my senses felt cranked up and yet useless, and I began to feel disconnected, like what I was seeing was not real.


 It was about lunch time that we started to feel really strange.  The sun was supposed to be moving lower in the sky, and yet it was straight above and bright.  The light didn't seem right, and we felt hungry and weak, and lightheaded.  This is jet lag, and it feels crazy.  You tell yourself that you should be okay, but you are most definitely not.  My brain began to feel like it was taking in incorrect information and began growing confused.  It felt like I was hallucinating.


In our off-state, we felt that the natural response to our situation was to find the oddest tourist spots we could find and enjoy their absurd ridiculousness.  And also take in some natural wonders, of course.

These gems are completely trapped in the seventies, with signs still sporting their old school fantastic fonts.  Displays haven't been changed for years, featuring articles written in 1969 and black and white photographs with women wearing gloves and cat eye glasses and men still in suits. 


This one is the Old Faithful Geyser of California.  It erupted faithfully every fourteen minutes.  I was feeling really strange about here.  My brain was so confused by the concept of time that it couldn't possibly comprehend a geyser, a rainbow, mountains and palm trees.  And llamas.  Llamas.  I felt like I was walking through air thick as water, my body heavy and cumbersome, and I felt disrupted by the constant eruptions.









Next stop was the Petrified Forest.  These trees are now rocks, felled by a tremendous volcanic explosion and steadily replaced by silt many moons ago.


The petrified trees lay where they were found and exposed, along a loop reaching up a hill and back around to the main lodge.  It felt good to walk, and the air here smelled rich with pine and sunshine.  My addled brain struggled with the concept of time - this seemed so long ago, and my life seemed so small and short in comparison.  I felt insignificant and replaceable.  And feeling untethered, I felt okay with that.  I began to surrender to California, and jet lag, and leaving work behind.  I also felt mournful and euphoric, with this odd sensation of wanting to eat my experience, taste it like a baby who puts everything it needs to learn about in its mouth.


 And with this, you may be wondering if we stopped at any wineries.  The truth is, not really.  My designated driver doesn't drink and I was so loopy, I didn't need anything else to make my head spin.   Hopefully you are reading this, and shaking your head in firm, firm agreement.  The bummer is, we would have loved to take a tour but it costs a bit of money to do because it includes tastings.  We stopped at one place and everyone was sloshed.  It was all so discombobulating.  So we kept on keeping on.


 We began driving back towards Sacramento with the setting sun, eating honey crisp apples and cheese sticks, sticky sweet crisp on lips and soft yielding milky on tongue.  The fields glowed in a way that we felt in our bodies, and tried desperately to breathe in and be connected to.  I couldn't take it all in fast enough.  I couldn't take enough pictures, I couldn't set them up correctly.  All I could do was breathe and be, but I itched inside because this was not enough. 


The day felt dosed by synesthesia, where because our ability to perceive time was completely disturbed, our other senses grew confused and crossed into one another, creating this odd sensation of being connected and unconnected, one and not-one.  We could no longer trust our bodies and yet, we realized that this was all we had to trust.  Our phenomenological experience was disrupted and perceived all at once.  

Our simple perception of time, our awareness of where the sun is in the sky, our body's knowledge of when food should come were all lost.  An odd feeling of imperfect surrender, of flowing along and then wading through quicksand, flawed and perfection.  The single strangest experiment is to remove oneself from one's environment, one's elemental anchor and to then experience adjusting to it.

And finally, the stability of our hotel bed, fluffy and white, with heavy down comforters and merciful sleep.
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